Part of becoming a great broadcaster is having a great vocabulary and finding ways to vary your verbiage. That is why a regular feature on this site will be “Announcer Alterations” where we take short clips of pre-existing play-by-play synced to video and come up with five different ways to call the same sequence of events.
I decided to have some fun this edition and came up with five different ways to call Michael Jordan’s fictitious dunk at the buzzer vs the Monstars from the movie Space Jam. This clip has no original verbiage because…well…it’s not a real play. This was unique because in a cartoon world where an arm can stretch 15 feet, it is also possible for a five second play to take about 40 seconds to complete which allows me the freedom to use some pretty unique metaphors and descriptions. I also used five classic end game calls from real life to mix in with the cartoon calls, see if you can pick them out. So without further fanfare, here are the alterations!
Five Ways To Make The Call
Jordan with the ball, looking for a way to preserve the freedom of himself and all of Looney Toon Land. Pound the Monstar is in his way. Pound trips and Jordan steps on his posterior as he elevates toward the basket from half court! Murray is open but Jordan keeps sailing towards the rim! Monstars in desperate need of a stop! Jordan is bear hugged by Bupkus and Bang! They drag Jordan towards the floor and he stretches….and keeps stretching! He cocks back his 15 foot arm and Mosgovs the Monstars as he releases a primal roar! I can’t believe what I just saw, the Toon Squad defeat the Monstars at the buzzer!
Jordan with the rock surrounded by Space Aliens! Playing to avoid servitude for eternity! Pound shading Jordan for the Monstars. He dives at Jordan’s feet. Jordan steps over and takes flight off his gluteus maximus near the midcourt circle. He floats towards the tin! Murray calling for the ball but Jordan has his eye on the prize. Bupkus and Bang hit him like linebackers on a crossing route. They pull Jordan towards the depths of servitude but he reaches towards the rim…and reaches…and keeps reaching. Pulls back the hammer and slams it home at the horn! Do you believe in miracles? Yes! The Tune Squad wins!
Michael with the pill and a chance to win for the Tune Squad. Jordan swarmed by Space Aliens. Jukes out Pound steps on his back near the timeline and rises off his rump! Jordan soaring towards the cylinder. Murray gets free but MJ looks him off. Bang and Bupkus try for the intentional foul and pull him down like an anchor but somehow Jordan extends towards the hoop…and extends further. With a 15 foot right arm he drops it in from ten feet above the rim. Go Crazy Folks, Go Crazy! Jordan and the Tune Squad avoid being enslaved by little green men and win the day!
Jordan gets free at the midcourt stripe with just one Monstar between him and the hoop. He crosses up Pound and Pound falls to the floor. Jordan levitates off the low end! Murray with hands up ready to shoot but Michael is looking to close. Flying to the cup like gravity is no longer a law. Bupkus and Bang latch on and pull him towards the floor like a tractor beam. Not to be denied Jordan extends his arm like a ball retriever towards a pond! The band is on the court, the band is on the court! Jordan releases an animal grunt and flushes it down as time expires! The Toon Squad snatches victory from the jaws of defeat!
MJ with the leather needing two point to avoid becoming an extraterrestrial amusement park slave! Pound on guard duty for the Monstars. He trips. Jordan steps on his back and launches off his haunches! Looks at Murray in midair and takes it himself! Bupkus and Bang in position to draw a charge. Instead they try to pull him down like a lost soul into the river styx! He powers through and stretches his arm like a rubber band and snaps it through the circle! We’ll see you tomorrow night! The Tune Squad is victorious!